A Husband's Affection to His Wife

By William Gouge

An husband’s affection to his wife must be answerable to his opinion of her: he ought therefore to delight in his wife entirely, that is, so to delight in her as wholly and only delighting in her. In this respect the Prophet’s wife is called the “desire” (Ez.24:16), or delight, or pleasure of his eyes: that wherein he most of all delighted, and therefore by a propriety so called. Such delight did Isaac take in his wife as it drove out a contrary strong passion, namely the grief which he took for the departure of his mother: for it is noted that “he loved her, and was comforted after his mother’s death.(Gen.24:67)

This kind of affection Solomon doth elegantly set forth in these words, “Rejoice with the wife of thy youth: Let her be as the loving Hind, and pleasant Roe, and be thou ravished always with her love.” (Prov.5:18 & 19)

The attributes given to the forenamed creatures much amplify the point: the former is termed a “loving” Hind, the latter a “pleasant” Doe, word for word “an Hind of Loves, a Roe of favor,” that is, exceedingly loved and favored: for to set forth the extent of God’s love unto his Son, Christ is called the “son of his love”. (Col.1:13)

These comparisons applied to a wife, do lively set forth that delight which an husband ought to take in her, and yet is it much further amplified by the hyperbole used in this phrase, “be thou ravished with her love,” word, for word, “err thou in her love,” by which no sinful error, or dotage is meant, but a lawful earnest affection: implying two things especially: First so far to exceed, as to make a man overlook some such blemishes in his wife, as others would soon espy and mislike; or else to count them no blemishes, delighting in her never a whit the less for them. For example, if a man has a wife, not very beautiful, or proper, but having some deformity in her body, some imperfection in her speech, sight, gesture, or any part of her body, yet so to affect her, and delight in her, as if she were the fairest, and in every way most complete woman in the world. Secondly, so highly to esteem, so ardently to affect, so tenderly to respect her, as others may think him even to doat on her.

An husbands affection to his wife cannot be too great if it kept within bounds of honesty, sobriety and comeliness. The wife’s affection ought to be great to her husband, yet because of the husbands place of authority, he must especially take all occasions to manifest this his inward affection. Read the Song of Songs, and in it you shall observe such affection manifested by Christ to his Spouse, as would make one think he did (with reverence in an holy manner to use the phrase) even err in his love and doat on her. A good pattern and precedent for husbands. For nothing is more lovely than a good wife.

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William Gouge (1575–1653) was a godly husband and father to his family, and a spiritual father to many more. Born in England during the reign of Queen Elizabeth I, Gouge grew up in a godly home. He inherited a spiritual legacy and passed it on to future generations.